In Peter Senge’s book, Presence, he discusses the importance of being able to suspend. This skill requires development over time and with experience. The skill involves the ability to pay attention and bring awareness to one’s assumptions and judgments. Sounds easy right?
Give this a try…the next time you find yourself in the middle of a meeting and the person across from you offers a comment that makes you want to lunge across the table and shake them…this is when “suspend” comes into play. In that brief moment, when all the internal physical signs are adding up to an explosion, take pause. This is the time to ask yourself, why I am in fighting mode? Is it because I just don’t like this person? Is it because the comment will make more work for me? Is it because I am tired and the comment will now extend the meeting by another 15 minutes?
Once, you suspend and take a brief assessment about what is leading you to your reaction, you may respond in a manner that has a better outcome for you in the long-run. While the short term, yelling may feel much better, it doesn’t improve the situation, nor your reputation.
When do you have moments at work or home where you could practice suspending?